The lightbulb finally clicks on...

     Isn't it funny how you don't "get" something until several days later??  Well for me, try several years!  I co-teach a class called "Discovery" that is sort of like a group counseling session.  The students talk a lot about family life, friends...good and not-so-good, school struggles, drugs, etc.  I learn so much from these guys, it's almost made me less sympathetic for the average person and their struggles (including myself).  During one of these discussions, we were talking about channeling negative experiences into positive energy and motivation.  I was telling them about my upbringing; I wasn't abused, just a little neglected.  I can remember CPS coming to my school and talking to me about my home life, my neighbors didn't really care for my single, red-headed mom.  She always had the door locked and the music blaring when I got home from school, leaving me to bang on the door and scream at the top of my lungs until she heard me and let me in.  We didn't have much food around the house, even though she could well afford it.  I spent week-ends with my grandparents in Pomeroy...they would pick me up from school on Friday and bring me back on Sunday afternoon.  I loved my grandma.  My mom re-married when I was 9, much changed for me and my home life after that, for the better.  Now, let me back up a bit.  My mom met the love of her life when she was 19, that would be my dad.  He was 2 years (I believe) older than her, that would make him 21.  They were married and had me when they were 22 and 24, living in Alaska, my dad was in the Airforce.  My dad was diagnosed shortly after with malignant melanoma (very aggressive skin cancer) that started from a mole on his forehead.  The Doctors didn't know much about it then, and told him, prior to diagnosis, that he must be cutting himself shaving.  He was very sick for 4 years, my mom took care of the both of us and held down a job as best as she could.  There was no family even close to us in Alaska.  By the age of 29, my dad died.  My mom was 27 and had spent the last 4 years of her life taking care of the man that was supposed to be with her for the rest of HER life. 
     About 3 years ago, when I was talking to the students about knowing what kind of mom I wanted to be because I didn't have that role-model growing up,  I finally figured it out.  What the hell?  I can't even imagine losing my husband at the age of 27, left with  a 5 year old in a state not even remotely close to any family.  Not to mention the last 4 years of my marriage is struggling to do whatever possible to make ends meet, always hoping for a miracle.  My mom did the best she could for me.  She might not have won any Mother of the Year awards, but she has sure made up for it with my son.
    

People That Don't Have A Clue

How is it that some people just don't have a clue?  I get it with teens, but adults?  If someone tells you that you are a jerk, you can blow it off, but if several people from unrelated areas of your life tell you that you are a jerk...then you probably are one!  I'm coming across this in one of my jobs.  I can't mention names or places of business, but the whole thing is a joke.  I have been at this job for over 12 years and although the staff constantly changes, the couple never does.  If people, no matter who they are, don't like to work with you, I'm guessing there's a reason.  This couple was here 5 years ago, then were "sent away".  They are back with a completely different staff, and still have not changed any behaviors and feel that everyone is out to get them.  I know I'm speaking in code, but my point is this: if someone from your work place says that you are a butthead, if your friends are not your friends anymore because they say that you are a butthead, if your insurance agent doesn't return your calls because they know that you are going to be a butthead...get a clue!  YOU ARE A BUTTHEAD!!!!!!!!

Today

Today is one of those days that happens about once a week.  It's a day that I feel completely overwhelmed.  I don't know where to begin...I can't see any means to the end.  I'm going to a board meeting for an assignment (I got a heads up that this would be a quick one because of the bond levy), it's still a terrible night for me to have to stay late.  The work on my desk is piling up, homework galore from my classes, my son has a wrestling thing Wednesday night AND all day Saturday.  Did I mention I HATE wrestling?  I have a problem with yelling, screaming parents that have veins popping out of their necks.  I have decided as a parent, that I do not have to go to every single function under the sun.  I think I'm setting a great example by staying home and doing my homework; he's 14 and knows that I'm back in school to finish what I started so long ago.  My husband is really good for that kind of sports stuff, anyways.  I think he's the one that misses me being there more than Koby does.  He feels that he has to go to everything under the sun and sometimes makes me feel like I'm being "not the best mom" because I don't think I need to be there every time.  I guess part of it is how he was raised; no family support, he got himself to and from any practices or games he may have had when he was involved in sports.  He doesn't think about the fact that I'm involved in everything else...just not always the sports stuff.  It's not that I don't think it's important, I just really have to pick and choose right now.  Plus, like I said, I do not like wrestling.  Football is good.  I am still overwhelmed.

This probably won't be a very long blog, but I'm going to  write about something I saw this evening that kind of upset me.  It's the type of thing I seem to be seeing more and more often with teens.  Right around 5 p.m., I went to the bank ATM to grab some money for my son (it never ends) for a birthday party snowboarding trip.  There was one car ahead of me; I always stay at last one car length behind the person at the ATM, my husband tells me that this is proper ATM etiquette...whatever.  The driver was a girl, probably around 17 and the passenger was, I'm assuming, her boyfriend.  As she went to put her card in the slot, she dropped it and it went underneath the car.  She opened her door, but of course she could only open it a few inches since she was pulled up right close to the little building.  I could see the young man (using the term loosely) next to her, flailing his arms around like he was yelling.  The passenger door flew open and he started barking orders at her.  She backed up the car as she was told, he bent down and picked up the card then threw it at her open window.  What a little jerk!  I wanted to jump out of my truck and knee him in the groin!  Then he was yelling "Get out!!  Get out!!"  So as he went and sat back in the passenger side, waiting to be chauffered around, she obediently went to the ATM, by foot, and made her transaction.  I was so irritated seeing him puff out his chest and belittle the girl behind the wheel I could have easily beat the crap out of him!  What bothered me even more, was the fact that I was thinking "If I get out and say something, will he pull a gun on me?  Could he have a knife?  Will they follow me home (on his orders) then destroy my property?"  I hate having to think about these things.  It makes me sad for the girl, sad for me and sad for the world.

Christmas Present from Grandma

A couple of years ago, my husband and I received the most hideous Christmas gift ever.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to open up a present that is so unexpectedly ugly and act like you like it?  I thought I was prepared for anything until Shawn reached into the box and pulled it out.  We both looked at it, looked at each other and were not able to make eye contact again until we left the family gathering.  "Oh, wow...it's really...pretty!" I sputtered.  Shawn was speechless as he set it on the table.  "Well, plug it in so you can see how it looks, and dim the lights!" Grandma said.  Shawn did as he was told; I could see a smirk forming at the corners of his mouth.  With the lights off, the rest of the family oooohed and ahhhhed, probably saying prayers of thanks that it was going home with us.  I'm going to do my best to explain it to you, but please realize that there is no way that I can do it justice with words (I'm going to have to ask my son to teach me how to post pictures).  Honestly, I don't even know what to call it...a lamp? a nightlight?  On top of a fat plastic base, about the size of a cereal bowl turned upside down, sat a bouquet of bright pink roses.  Mixed in with the hard silk flowers were plastic sprigs that looked similar to fishing line.  The difference was that these sprigs were thicker and stronger; they were able to stand on their own.  As soon as Shawn plugged the monstrosity in, I realized that these were lines of fiberoptic lights.  Not only did the sprigs light up, but so did the flowers!  As the "bouquet" changed colors right before our eyes, the base slowly rotated, giving us a full 360 degree view.  Something caught my eye as it was making its second rotation, something that I had not yet noticed. I squinted my eyes and peered through the jungle of lights.  There, hot-glued on the stem of a rose, sat a fairy.  I looked closer....the fairy had horns!!  What the heck??  The wings were so high up on its back, they looked just like miniature horns poking out from the top of its head!  I don't know how, but I managed to hold in the giggle that wanted so badly to escape.  It helped that Shawn had not yet noticed.  From that point on for the rest of the evening, all I could think about was what kind of unfortunate, yet believable accident was going to occur to keep that thing out of my living room.  Actually, I didn't want it in my house, period!  It gave me the same kind of creeps that clowns do.  I just knew that the "horned fairy" would be visiting my nightmares. 
As luck would have it, a month later we got a puppy.  She liked to chew.  The creepy light has been out of commission for quite some time.  More luck: it was bought in Arizona at a craft sale :)

What's wrong with this picture?

     To me, one of Life's Great Mysteries, is food.  Not food in general, but the taste of food.  Somewhere along the way, things got terribly messed up.  I don't know how or when, I just know it did.  Why is it that the better the food tastes, the worse it is for you?  And vise versa...if the food tastes like rabbit pellets, you can bet it's good for you.  It is mind boggling to me that we crave what is so bad for us.  Take a McDonald's Double Quarter Pounder with cheese, for example.  This would have to be one of my favorite fast-food burgers - 740 calories and 42 grams of fat.  Cheesecake?  1 slice = 350 calories and 24 grams of fat.  My favorite dessert, Pecan Pie, 452 calories and 32 grams of sugar.  Even a measly, plain old Krispy Kreme donut is 200 calories.
     Now let's look at the other end of the spectrum: Veggies (without Ranch!!) 25 calories a serving.  Please.  The Ranch helps them move down your throat.  You can have a hamburger that doesn't actually have any meat in it, that will only cost you 100 calories.  Have you ever eaten All Bran or Fiber One?  The latter is actually a little easier to swallow, but either of them have only 60 calories in a 1/2 cup serving.  Believe me, you really don't want to eat much more than that in one setting.  That 1/2 cup has 14 grams of fiber.  Tofu is about the healthiest of them all.  You can mix it with anything and it will mimic the taste and also give you a protein boost.  Just don't mix it with something that doesn't taste very good, it will make it taste worse.  The great thing is that you can eat a' 1/4 BLOCK of the stuff and it's only 88 calories! 

I wonder how these will taste?

 

TOFU CHEESECAKE

Printed from COOKS.COM

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Read more about it at www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,171,156172-251196,00.html
Content Copyright © 2011 Cooks.com - All rights reserved.

1 c. ground walnuts
1 c. oat flakes
1 c. almond meal
4 tbsp. tamini
3 tbsp. maple syrup, salt

FILLING:

2 lbs. tofu (firm)
1 1/2 c. maple syrup
1 c. corn oil
1/2 c. lemon juice
1 tbsp. vanilla
2 tbsp. Arrowroot
2 tsp. salt

Blend filling.Press the mixed well base into an oiled springform pan. Pour in tofu mixture. Bake 1 1/2 hours at 375 degrees or until golden and firm. Let cool overnight. Top with fruit preserve or fresh fruit. (Obtain some ingredients at health store.)

	Sugar Free Pecan Pie This Sugar Free Pecan Pie is easy and a nice alternative those folk who can't have the regular version. It's also easy and fast to make.
	Prep Time: 10 min Total Time: 1 hr Servings: 8 servings

Ingredients

• Crust
• 1  (15-oz.) box Pillsbury® Refrigerated Pie Crusts
• Filling
• 5 teaspoons sugar substitute for baking
• 1  cup sugar free breakfast syrup
• 1   teaspoons vanilla
• 3  eggs
• 1   cups pecan halves
• 1/3 cup butter, melted

Directions

1. 1 Heat oven to 350°F. Place pie crust in 9-inch glass pie pan as directed on box for One-Crust Filled Pie.
2. 2 In large bowl, mix eggs with the sugar substitute. Stir in syrup and melted butter. Stir in pecans. Pour into pie crust.
3. 3 Bake 40 to 50 minutes or until filling is puffed and pie is golden brown. Cool completely, about 2 hours. Store in refrigerator.

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Trick or Treat

     I love Halloween.  Costumes, make-up, decorated houses, scary music and....CANDY!  I remember every year as a little girl preparing for the big night.  I had a dresser in my bedroom that had three large drawers; the bottom was cleared out just for my candy.  I always took a pillow case as my "Candy Carrier" because there was no chance of it breaking and spilling my precious cargo.  Another important use of the pillowcase was that it could be used as a weapon.  Yes, I did say weapon.  There was a very unsavory character that lived in my neighborhood who was known to steal candy bags from unsuspecting victims.  The night this fellow tried to take my candy, was the last night of his reign of terror.  I swung with all of my might and connected right with his noggin!  The best part was that the neighbor up the street worked for Pepsi and always gave out cans of pop...I was fully loaded.  Luckily for him, the Baby Ruth's, Snickers and 3 Musketeers cushioned the blow.  I never saw him out on Halloween again, at least not in my neighborhood!
     With such fond memories of this particular evening of the year, you can imagine how excited I was when my son, Koby, was about 8 years old and agreed to let me trick-or-treat with him.  When I say "with" him, I really mean "with" him!  I am about 4 ft. 11 in. in height...are you following with me now?  Koby had never really been much of a go-getter when it came to trick-or-treating and I felt it was my duty to show him how it should be done.  I was giddy with excitement.  Werewolf mask, camo pants, boots, red flannel hunting shirt, I was ready to go.  My husband just shook his head, what else could he do but drive us to our destination.  The evening was wet and cold, but the streets still looked like a scene from E.T.  There were sugar-frenzied kids everywhere and parents that looked like they wanted a drink (I'm quite sure there was some of that in their coffee mugs).  We parked the car, picked a house, went to the front door and rang the bell.  I was shaking and giggling like a high-school girl.  As an adult, I was afraid of being found out and at the same time, excited!  Koby was right next to me as we said "trick-or-treat" in unison; my son and I.  Turning away from the house and walking towards Shawn, my husband, we started laughing...hard!  I couldn't believe that I was doing this!  Now it was time to get down to business.  "Come on Koby, let's go!" I hollered as I ran to the next house, his little legs doing their best to keep up.  After about 10 houses, running as fast as I could get him to go, he began yelling from behind "MOM!  Wait for me!  You're running too fast!"  I quickly went back to him, horrified that he had called me "mom".  I looked around but no one had seemed to notice.  I realized that in my excitement, I was running the Halloween right out of my son!  It was time to give him a break.  There was something else that I needed to do.
     Some friends of ours lived in the neighborhood and I wanted to pay them a visit.  As we came to their driveway, I told Shawn and Koby to wait out by the street.  I walked to the door with my pillowcase in hand and rang the doorbell.  The mask was so hot I could hardly breathe and the craziness of what I was doing made it even worse.  I waited.  The door opened and both Penny and Dave were standing there in front of me in my werewolf costume.  No one else was at the house but me..."Great costume!  Do you like gum?" Dave says.  "Sure!" I say.  He gives me a handful.  "Thanks JackA$$!!"  Their mouths drop in disbelief as I drop with laughter, pulling off my mask.  Now you see why I had my son wait by the street with my husband, a little adult humor never hurts!  We still talk about it and laugh (Penny, Dave and I) and Koby and I do the same when we talk about our trick-or-treating escapade.  My husband still just shakes his head.

What to Write???

I took my dog for a run this afternoon (yes in the wind!) and all the while I was trying to think about what I was going to write in this blog.  I thought it would be nice to have a blog about a certain topic, kind of like John in "Marley and Me" who always wrote in some way or another about Marley.  I do have a black lab...but she's pretty boring as far as dogs go.  The other thing I was thinking about as I was running against the wind was how crazy I had to be.  Why in the heck was I out here????  It's because things are different once you hit 36.  One of my students was laughing at the fact that I looked like a 17 year old from behind.  Well that's all fine and dandy, but what does that mean I look like from the front?  I always took youth for granted, I guess, or at least I never really gave it much thought until I turned 36.  I think that's why I like working with teenagers, they keep me young at heart, up to date, and teach me things that prepare me for the 14 year old that I have at home!  But...that doesn't help with laugh lines.  Running outside in the wind with my dog to stay in shape doesn't help with laugh lines either, although it does make me feel better.  There's something about turning 36 that made me start spending a bunch of money on face and eye cream, too, something I would have never done before.   And buying "In Style" magazine!  Isn't it a little too late for that now?  Does the saying "better late than never" apply?  Oh, this is a good one - I started paying A LOT of money for a pair of jeans.  I never did THAT until I turned 36, either.  I do try to use a 20% off coupon whenever I have one :)